You guys...no joke...I've been staring at a screen, trying to address this subject for MONTHS! It's something that's SO difficult to talk about, but SO important to me. Let me try to break it down... Here's Kev and I, last weekend. I was laughing my ass off because he left the house that night thinking he was sporting an ugly Christmas sweater. Turns out, everyone just thought he was trying to be trendy. Kev and I wouldn't know "trendy" if it bit us in the ass. Anywho...I look happy as shit, right? What you can't see is how awful I actually felt inside. It took EVERYTHING in me to get ready that night. Getting ready BLEW, with the physical act of showering being the most difficult of tasks. I had zero energy, and wanted to do nothing more but throw on my chubbiest pair of sweatpants and binge on some Netflix. And by Netflix...I mean...salt and vinegar chips. I hated getting dressed. I lived in Lularoe leggings. It was the only thing I could wear without realizing how fat I was actually getting. NOTHING fit!!! Sour cream and I had become BFF's, with her Sister cream cheese as a close second. Trying to get my "skinny" jeans on was like wrestling a rubbery baby seal into a non-lubricated wet suit. My FUPA started making the rules, and my armpit boobs wanted in on ALL of that action. I felt disgusting!!! Making plans was just downright painful. If I make plans, that means I have to shower, put on clothes, makeup, hair, and worst of all...socialize with people. Can you HONESTLY believe that I would physically start to sweat profusely over the thought of being around people and talking? Crazy, right? I mean, I'm stuck with tiny spawns of Satan all day. Why WOULDN'T I long for a little adult interaction? Why? DEPRESSION. It sucks, you guys. That shit creeps up on me like ANY one of my children when I'm trying to poop. It's mean. It's nasty, and it doesn't give a care. The week before Christmas it all came full circle for me. This is where Young Living steps in. In 2013, after I had Penny, I was in a BAD place. Like...REAL bad. I'll make a long story short here, but postpartum is NO JOKE. I was sad. I was mean. I was disinterested...in EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. I had TERRIBLE thoughts. I was irrational, and believed things to be true that were not. I lost friends. I neglected my kids. I was a jerk face to my Husband. I was worse to the people I loved the most. I told my doc...was put on some crap...and carried on. I felt a bit better, but side effects like anal leakage, excessive sweating, and dry mouth just sounded like not so much fun. And lets be real..."loss of interest in sex" wasn't on Kev's list of top 10 things to happen in 2013. I started noticing Young Living ALL over the place. People were all..."My head doesn't hurt...I'm losing weight...I'm not blowing snot all over my customers anymore...AND..."I'm happier!!!" Ummmmmm....SOLD. Sign me up please! So there I was. Got my oils...loved my oils...started sharing my love for oils. In comes friends loving oils...and then friends of friends loving oils...and then random people that I've never met loving oils. I've met SO many new people, and I've made SO many new friends. Simply by just sharing something I loved. Fast forward to last week... Here's my girl Jen. I introduced her to Young Living the same year I was, and here she is knowing SOMETHING was not right with me. And then Jodie, who I signed up late 2014. 2 people that I had never interacted with prior to Young Living. 2 people that I helped WITH Young Living. 2 people that have lives of their own, along with worries of their own, but here they were...worried about me. Sadness brought me oils...brought me people...brought them oils...brought me happiness. They both came over on the Thursday morning before Christmas, and did ALL OF THIS!!! They brought coffee, donuts, birthday cake pops, cupcake frappuccinos, and FANTASTIC attitudes. JUST what I needed. I cannot even begin to explain to anyone how much this meant to me. I was able to get more done, and in return, spend more quality time with my Family for Christmas. It was these 2 girls that helped me realize that I was falling into a funk again, and it was these 2 girls that made me realize that I needed my happy oils to get my ass through the winter. Depression is scary, ya'll. It's debilitating and relentless. Wether it be a friend, a Family member, your local grocery store bagger, or the Family dog...REACH OUT!!! If you notice ANYTHING off at ALL, just ask. It's that easy. A simple question, a quick talk, or a little help...from even a stranger, can pull someone out of a serious dung pile. I've been there. I know!!! I still get there. What you see on the outside...or on social media, is NOT always what's happening on the inside. Depression does not discriminate against race, religion, sexual orientation. It can attach itself to ANYONE. Thousands of us suffer from it, but with it comes an ugly stigma. The only way to remove this stigma completely, is to TALK ABOUT IT...openly...without shame. I'm an open book, guys. If any of you feel this way, and need someone to talk to...PLEASE reach out. I'll lock myself in the bathroom with a burrito bowl and a glass of wine...and I'll LISTEN. On a lighter note... I tried Ripsticking again. Can somebody PLEASE remind me that I'm 37 years old, can hardly shave my legs properly, and cannot...I repeat CANNOT Ripstick?
Thanks.
36 Comments
Sarah D
12/31/2016 05:09:33 pm
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You always look so happy and I started getting oils after your first post. I have since become obsessed (made shampoo, conditioner, lotion and bath bombs last night). I have a 2 yo and 6 yo and lost both my parents to Cancer 45 days apart this year. To get out of bed, well, I have no choice. To get on real clothes and go out, very rarely. Please tell me the oils you use for depression.
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Tracy
1/5/2017 02:13:51 pm
Hang in there. I don't have the answer to your question about the oils but just wanted to say I hope things start looking up for you. Take one day at a time and take time to heal. You have a good reason to be sad. For me, when I'm down, I try to find something to cherish or make me smile each day... Usually something the kids do or say. Good luck. I'll be thinking about you.
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Lorilyn Harrell
12/31/2016 05:15:10 pm
Perfectly what I needed to hear...I am notorious for taking on too much and never asking for help when it is obvious that I need it.
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Debbie Feil
12/31/2016 05:17:40 pm
That takes guts to let us all know about your depression. It is a very tough thing to go through. Im so glad that you have friends that were so concerned. Depression doesn't just walk through my family, it runs everyone over. I have been feeling that way lately due to the holidays and my kids getting older and getting ready to go out on their own.
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Lauren Mauck
12/31/2016 05:19:10 pm
Girl, I so get it. It's a powerful thing when we can accept help from other women and rally around each other. Depression seriously blows and all of the stuff that comes with it doesn't help. Mental health is something we need to call to the front of the class and learn all we can. Carry on you fabulous mama and keep ripping that stick!
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Nicole Panici
12/31/2016 05:21:50 pm
First, so can relate to this....so real and honest. However may I add, your ripsticking photo made me LOL
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PMH
12/31/2016 05:28:34 pm
I faked most of my way through the holidays. Smiled my way through. Could have so easily curled up in bed and stayed there. Thanks for being so open. Sometimes this feels like a road for one.
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Dana P
12/31/2016 05:29:02 pm
I love reading your posts about your kids, your life, and your oils! I would love to learn more about oils especially. I need something!! My kids are all grown and out of the house, and as much as I thought that was going to be great, its lonely.
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Lauren
12/31/2016 05:36:05 pm
I am so deep in depression right now I can't climb out.
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Jenn
12/31/2016 08:37:10 pm
Feel better! Reach out and get help doll.
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Jenn
12/31/2016 08:39:28 pm
Yeah totally didn't mean for that to come off as judgy. My mom suffered from depression and I know what it does to people. Please try and get help. You may not be able to see it right now but there are people that care and love you. I really hope things get better.
Lauren
1/9/2017 08:05:19 am
It wasn't judgy at all. I've recently become a single mom, work full time and do not have a babysitter. I am isolated from my family when I moved with my baby's father to Oklahoma from New York because he is in the army. I have no help and can't even go and get help for myself. It has been an ongoing struggle emotionally, mentally and financially. I am so lost.
Kate Snyder
12/31/2016 05:36:13 pm
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!! This is EXACTLY how o have been feeling lately!!! I wasn't the best Mom this holiday season and feel so badly for my family. I've been in such a funk and I just feel lost. It's so difficult to explain to someone who doesn't have depression but I totally know what you are talking about and it's nice to know I'm not alone! You have made my day and lifted my spirits!! Here's to an amazing 2017!! ❤️
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Stephanie O
12/31/2016 05:39:37 pm
I love that your so REAL!! I suffer from depression and oils have helped me when I get in a funk. They have helped with many things in my family💜
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Celestina Festa
12/31/2016 06:20:00 pm
Thank you for this. I lost my Dad this August and my boyfriend left me the day before his funeral and am having a hard time "dealing"... with it, with life with anything. You always make me smile...thank you
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Autumn
1/4/2017 11:37:45 pm
I'm so sorry for your losses! How awful of him to leave you like that! Prayers for you girl🙏
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Cathy Manning
12/31/2016 06:56:32 pm
Hi Megan, so grateful for your candor and honesty, for you for introducing me to the wonderful oils, and to know I'm not alone in those feelings! Basically alone tonight and feeling crappy. Do you have suggestions for me on best oils to use to lift spirits? Thanks so much. Happy New Year to you and yours.
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Regina
12/31/2016 07:07:20 pm
I love this. It is all so true. Thanks for writing about it because there are so many dealing with it.
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Nancy
12/31/2016 09:21:08 pm
Thanks so much for this post... I have suffered severe depression and anxiety my whole life and in the past 15 months it has gotten so bad I'm basically paralyzed by it!!! In 2009 I got very sick and ended up with Fibromyalgia among other things that basically brought my life to a standstill!! My daughters father couldn't handle my being sick and decided we didn't "work" anymore and threw me out after 25 years together!! With being too sick to work and having no money and nowhere to turn I was facing having to live in my car... the day before I was to move into my car my friend offered me her pop-up camper to stay in while I got on my feet.... that was 15 months ago and I'm still here! Dying a little more inside everyday... it is hell on earth!!! It's tiny and freezing cold in winter and 5,000 degrees in summer. It's moldy and leaking... my daughter woke up the other night with her blankets soaked because it poured rain... now she has a severe sinus and bronchial infection. I hate it here, she hates it here, my dog hates it here and I picture us in a beautiful comfy home... happy... but between being financially stuck and gripped with my depression I can't even bring myself to do the things I need to do to possibly change all of this. I'm so depressed all the time that I keep telling myself... tomorrow.. tomorrow I'll go get on the list for low income housing... tomorrow.... tomorrow.... tomorrow NEVER comes when depression takes hold. I need to change things but feel like I'm being choked.... so here I lay in this camper bunk half frozen to death but too paralyzed to change it 😞 Pray for me please...
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Ashley
1/1/2017 11:17:41 am
Hi, Nancy. I just wanted to reach out to you because I get it. I get what you are saying So much more than you probably think anyone could. My depression does the same 'tomorrow' things to me. I get nothing accomplished and then I end up in another hole. It hurts... it hurts deep because as you do lay there, you truly want nothing more than to do these things. You know you have to. But for some reason our bodies tell us NOPE. We are too tired, too sick, no motivation, no energy, drive, numb to everything, we isolate so we don't have to talk to anyone. Here's the thing, how old is your daughter? And your husband doing that is so very wrong... I do have to ask you though, did he make her leave your 'home' too? Maybe if the situation is that bad, she spend some time with dad, OF COURSE you still see her, but take that time to find what helps you so that you can be the woman you WANT so badly to be. I am not judging. I am the same exact way. I can't get out of my own way. But maybe you have more depression added on top because of the sadness you feel not being able to do better for your daughter? She loves you unconditionally and always will and even if she stays right with you, you've still got this. You have got to get a therapist. Sliding scale, state funded, whatever you HAVE to do. You are at a crossroad where you have got to pick the right way. If you keep going down the road you're on, I fear you will just dicipate over time. This is text and you can't tell someone's tone... so please please know that I'm here for you, I am not judging you and I get it. I know exactly how and what you're feeling and you know what? I don't care if the whole world sees my phone number, I want you to call me. I have struggled my whole life and I still struggle, but I see a trauma therapist who works with me on so many things and I would love nothing more than to speak with you. If you live close to me, I want to help you. If you don't, religious or not (you), I will personally reach out to every church or outreach program in the area you live in. But I would never want the state to get involved due to how you are stating you living conditions are. You and you're daughter deserve so much more. You NEVER deserved to give your heart to a man, for better or worse, sickness and in health and have him break that promise. You are not a bar person and my guess is there was more going on with him than just you being 'sick'. When someone truly loves you, they wouldn't walk away and I don't say that to hurt you because you're better off NOT being with someone who doesn't value you and love you unconditionally and stand by your and your little angels side. I know depression takes a toll on our loved ones... but look, Kev is still there for Meg... you will get out of this mess and if I have any way of helping, it will be sooner than later. If there is anyon else on this blog that would like to help me help Nancy, that would be amazing. These two wonderful girls don't deserve this situation, to be freezing and wet and sad. Some people will judge and say, get off your ass then. But any of us with depression know that is SO much easier to say than do. Here is my number, 207-205-5103. My name is Ashley, and I've got you. Even if all I can be is there when you need someone to talk to. I'm unbiased. I know nothing. I can't and wouldn't judge. I have never reached out like this to anyone. I have helped people, but people in my life. Your story dug deep and it dug deep because I know it all to well. Please call me, please talk to me and please let me try to help you and your precious girl. I'll send lots of blankets, warm clothes, food... I will help and I know other people will too. 2017 is the year that you are going to get yourself, with or without help from anyone, into a comfortable and happy warm and leak free home and work on your depression so you can get to a point that you CAN do all the things you want to do, without saying tomorrow every single time until you can no longer do this thing, pay the bill, etc. you've got this. CHIN UP, your daughter is watching you. Let her be your strength. She knows you are not letting her down and how much you love her. We just need to get you guys out of this mess. So much love from me to you two lovely ladies already. 1-207-205-5103. Please, call me.
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Missy
12/31/2016 09:47:06 pm
Awww depression sucks. I hear ya. Hugs. More me- the gym has helped tremendously!
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ajf
12/31/2016 10:23:54 pm
I understand depression. I TOTALLY get it. It stinks. I'm very outgoing and I isolated myself for way too long. I finally reached out a few weeks ago and started talking again. WHAT A DIFFERENCE! It's scary. But for my sanity and my marriage, I had to take the first step. Good for you Meghan. You are my laugh each day and miss when you don't post. And love your kids to pieces. Hang in there. And thanks for being honest.
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SMH
1/1/2017 07:46:46 am
Thank you SO MUCH for this post!!! After having my daughter in August and living in a small town and feeling COMPLETELY isolated and lonely despite having an amazing husband and two beautiful children, I'm thinking post partum depression is VERY real! I think I've cried everyday for 5 months now and have been AWFUL to my poor hard working husband. : ( Maybe oils and reaching out are the answer. By the way, I read your now viral letter to your hubby before your girls weekend and I hadn't laughed that hard in months! Your posts are hilarious and real and a true highlight to my days when I can't seem to even leave the house or change out of my pj's. Much appreciated thank you!!!
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Leigh S
1/1/2017 09:57:38 am
You have incredible friends. I wish I had the support you have. I too suffer from depression, especially this time of year and never have anyone to turn to. You're a brace person and such an inspiration.
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Ashley
1/1/2017 11:20:19 am
I'm here for you. I don't have your number to reach out... 1-207-205-5103... but now you have mine. Please call me and please try and smile. I'm nobody special, just someone like you that reads megs stuff and loves her, that also suffers just like you. You do have people there for you... I promise
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m.hopkins
1/1/2017 03:27:14 pm
I love your stories because i have lived through what your going thrue and i relate..depretion is awful and its hard to get over..not only do i do the oils but i do meditation..to center myself...its not easy i have 5 children and am a single mom...but ive made it a point to take 30 minutes to myself every morning..beleive mw i wouldn't be here if i didn't do this..dont worry it get better....your lucky you have so much love surrounding you...chin up...
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Jamie
1/1/2017 04:56:17 pm
Thank you...Thank you...Thank you for this post! I seriously felt like I was reading a narrative of my own life lately. I truly felt liken I ruined Christmas for my family this year because of my funky mood and not wanting to participate in ANYTHING!!! I found myself not enjoying anything more of lets hurry up and get this over with! I don't openly discuss my depression with people for fear of being judge or compared or hearing the constant "well there are people all around you with just as much on their plate as you, and they're fine". And don't forget the "look at all you have to thankful for, you've been blessed". Those comments make me want to throat punch people( I also get kinda mean when in a funk). I am thankful and I know I've been blessed, but it's not as simple as just saying that to myself in the mirror 3 times. My best friend literally just started her journey with young living and no lie in 4 shorts days has conviced me to jump on board. I'm awaiting my starter kits arrival. I did the math for the amount it cost to keep me supplied with Xanax and Excedrine Migrane I'll come out cheaper if the oils only work half the time. Seriously I'm taking the plunge for many different reasons!! Can't wait to see all the
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Jen
1/2/2017 04:39:37 am
What are the oils??
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Danielle
1/4/2017 08:55:21 pm
Always keeping it real, something we all appreciate. ❤️
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Nicki
1/5/2017 01:49:38 pm
I needed his today!!!! I shut down and shut everyone out. Have lost friends, become paranoid, anxiety thru the roof, feel like I'm losing grip on reality...... Drink and eat my feelings. Smoke cigarettes 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻
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Natasha
1/11/2017 08:18:53 am
Thank you so much for always sharing and for always being real. I cried as I read this post. You always make me laugh and smile. Hope you have an awesome 2017 and I plan on getting some oils and advice when work picks up for me. Sending a great big hug your way thanks for the warm message and for sharing your world 🌎 and with us ❤🙌🏻😊🤗💯🙌🏻
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Angie
1/16/2017 09:50:33 am
Thank you so much for the down to earth, real person that you are! I've dealt with depression for years. Meds were awful for me, and made me feel so much worse; even after losing my mom to cancer. I've learned to deal with it over time, but I have my bad days too. It's hard to do sometimes, but when this happens I have to change my focus. Depression is definitely something that gets swept under the rug a lot and isn't talked about or addressed often enough. Thank you for sharing 💖💖
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April
12/31/2017 11:34:45 am
Thank you for sharing. I have a husband with major depression... it’s sucking the life out of me now. I don’t know anything about the oils and it’s pretty spendy for a start kit but I love hearing success stories. ♥️♥️♥️♥️ This new year I need change- I need off this merrygoround. 💔
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Adrianne
12/31/2017 12:18:34 pm
Thanks so much for this Meg.......a story more common than most care to admit!!!
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Amy
12/31/2017 03:01:15 pm
Thank you for your honesty.I really wish I had friends like yours.I am in Canada, I struggle with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Agoraphobia. My husband does what he can for me but he works 5 hours away for six days at a time, moving isn't an option. I don't have close family, no friends, our sons are grown and on their own. Some days are very lonely and/or difficult.I've tried to get out by joining groups to meet people, not much luck. My meds have me somewhat on an even kiel and I have an excellent psychiatrist. Keeping up a positive outlook can be tough but I work on it daily. I enjoy reading your posts on Facebook, your humour and honesty are a bright spot to me.
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Tracey
12/31/2017 05:06:34 pm
This was a great read. You are amazing. I have always loved your humor, honesty and perspective. Keep doing what you do!
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