State Weekend and Fangirling
How cute are they? These completely adorable smaller than adult human beings qualified for STATE a few weeks ago!!!
So, off to Springfield we go!!!
And since we're basically 110% all about comfort, we made sure to hit up our local Dunkin Donuts in our very best casual Saturday wear.
This was basically about 4.5 minutes into our drive. And, Dear Helicopter Mommas...You can't tell from the pic, but they're COMPLETELY buckled properly into their hidden high back boosters. I also made SURE to remove ANY and ALL puffy coats prior to departure.
No falling asleep on an Oeser Road Trip. #4hourprotection
This just made me giggle like a 14 year old.
Maybe she's hungry? Best Friends are the BEST!
Dear tables 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, and 11,
Sorry we're not sorry.
How stinking cute are they? The coaches surprised the girls by decorating their hotel room. Bailey made her way to the mini mart in the lobby with every last penny that I had in my purse. She thought it'd be a good idea to treat the whole team to Starbucks Frappuccinos. It WAS super sweet and all, only...she spent all of my money. Like...ALL OF IT. If I were desperate for a sanitary napkin out of the bathroom vending machine, I'd be screwed.
It was a great night, up until my 12 year old began a story with..."Remember when so and so queefed?"
I about shit myself.
"WHAT did you just say? Did you seriously just say QUEEFED? Where on EARTH did you hear that?
I knew it wasn't from me!!! I use the term "front butt farting."
I then, casually had to explain what a QUEEF was. That wasn't weird or anything.
"Ladies, listen...please don't say the word QUEEF. It sounds disgusting. Maybe just don't talk about it at all. It happens. It happens to ALL of us. Sometimes when you're sitting down, you might have to pass gas. And sometimes when sitting down and maybe having to pass gas, that gas may have NO room to shoot backwards out of your butt cheeks, so instead...it "reroutes." Hence...Front Butt Fart. Let's just never talk about this again. OK? OK."
I bet you're all wondering where Kev is during all of this?
Not only was he one of the very few Dads that decided to suffer through State competition...
He was also the ONLY one to come down with the stomach flu. I seriously felt SO bad. Like...freezing, shaking, river ass SICK.
I told him to just stay at the hotel. He was MISERABLE. NOPE. He strapped on some MEGA giant man pants, and got us all to the convention center. He sat directly in front of 800 screaming cheerleaders who did NOTHING but try to perfect their harmonization to "Hotline Bling." I think I saw him throw up in his mouth a few times, and then just swallow it.
Not only were the girls BLOWN away just to get a bid to state, but out of 15 teams, they only call the top 9 back to the mat. I wish I could've witnessed their coach's face when their team got called, but from what I heard, it was nothing short of a small amount of diarrhea excitement that some small breeds of puppies experience when they meet a new friend. And out of those FIFTEEN teams, they brought home a 6th place trophy.
I, naturally...cried like ANY human being that just watched the first episode of "This Is Us."
I then took a quick potty break, only to come to this conclusion...
Of COURSE my dress was tucked into my leggings all day. And of COURSE nobody told me. I mean...It wouldn't be an average Meg day if I didn't make a total dick of myself.
The girls did great and all, but the best part of my night was yet to come.
I'm not one to get all stupid excited when I see someone famous. I'm pretty confident that if I saw Ryan Reynolds at a cheer competition, I'd be all..."Oh, there's Ryan Reynolds. That's cool." Probably not the case, but I couldn't see myself getting all starstruck stupid.
You guys...I fangirled! HARD!!! Like, sweating like a Gorilla's sack at Brookfield Zoo in August fangirled.
Next to Betty White and Ellen...she's my fave...
If you ask me who she is, we're breaking up.
And to end the perfect evening (with the exception of Kev puking in his mouth and stuff), we began our 3 hour journey home. About an hour into the drive, Ella goes...
"Are we back in Illinois yet?"
I'm new here. Give me 3 more nights, and 6 more bottles of wine.