This could quite possibly be one of the most difficult blogs I've written. I realize that this may not be the best place to share it, but I've been an open book from day one, and for the next few days...I'm REALLY going to need the support.  My Family...My children. ALL OF THAT! And that right there...makes keeping you around for this long...110% worth it! BUT... You gotsta GO!!! Things were ok after Bailey. Hell...even after Harper it wasn't so bad. Things started getting pretty ugly after Quinn. But Penny....OHHHHHHHHH...Penny!!! Everything took a turn for the worse. The physical pain you've caused me wasn't even the worst of it. I cannot even count the number of times you've drawn blood. You've left me time and time again, in a rolled up ball on the floor, more times than I'd like to admit. I remember leaving the hospital when Penny had to hang back in the NICU. I wasn't even home 24 hours, and you put me RIGHT back in the hospital...for almost a WEEK! You've absolutely destroyed me emotionally. You've made me feel ugly, fat, and disgusting. You continuously kick me when I'm already down, and leave me in tears ALL. THE. TIME. I cannot live with you anymore. I JUST CANNOT. I deserve better than this. I NEED my life back. Thank you for my children. Thank you for housing them, and (for the most part) keeping them safe. But, as far as I'm concerned... That's ALL you were good for!!! Tuesday morning will be our last time together as I sign those papers. OH, and how I WISH I could see your face as I do, BUT... You're just a uterus. And you don't have a face. You also don't have eyes, sooooooo. All jokes aside...I'm TERRIFIED. I'm having such a hard time with the fact that the one part of me that made such a huge difference...that made me a Mom...that made me WORTH something...is being ripped from my body. That's it. I'm done. Everything I've worked so hard for is OVER. What's left? What am I good for now? These are my thoughts, and I KNOW they're crazy! And I KNOW I'm blessed AF, but it's still hard. I have heaviness and constant pain EVERY day, and I know this is what I need to better my quality of life. To be a better Mom. A better Wife. I know. I'm excited, but scared shitless all at once.  Also...this isn't my cake. I stole it from my Google friend. I wouldn't be mad though. If you have any advice, or any words of wisdom...anything at all...please message me. Oh, and I'll take all of the oily combos I can get! I'm slightly freaking TF out. Not just that I'm getting sliced open, but because Kev will be home alone...for 5 days...with 6 kids...and a puppy. I'll wrap this up with a friendly PSA... If there's any one thing in your life. Whether it be a friend, a boyfriend, Husband, uterus, a car, a laundry basket, gallbladder, Alpaca, or Goldfish... and it's dulling the quality of YOUR life... or just toxic AF... Get rid of that shit. #YOLO 
8 Comments
Bobbie Jo Jepson
11/5/2018 04:39:49 am
I am very sorry you ate going thru this. I had a vaginal hysterectomy at 32 because of endometriosis. It was so bad it pushed my stomach into my intestines and embedded it there.
Sanja Radenovic
11/5/2018 04:53:49 am
I had my uterus (and ovaries) removed a month ago (October 4th 2018) due to cancer. I was lucky it was a stage 1 cancer and it has not spread anywhere else. I am still recovering, but I feel fine. And grateful. I am 38 and have one daughter.Did I say I was grateful? And yes, on the day of my surgery I had a short ''conversation'' with my uterus. Thank you, but now it's time we part. So we did. And lived happily ever after.
Debbie
11/5/2018 05:49:15 am
I had my hysterectomy due to stage 1 uterine cancer and what the dr called extreme endometriosis. I was blessed with 3 children of my own and 4 bonus children ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Carey Phillips
11/5/2018 07:26:59 am
I just had to have an open abdominal hysterectomy last month. My biggest advice? If the doctor tells you not to bend, do laundry, vacuum, etc like mine did, LISTEN TO THEM!!! I would feel bad leaving everything to my husband so I'd try to help. It would hurt sooooo bad. I struggled with having my baby maker removed and worried I'd be "less of a woman". But not having the every day pain and discomfort has made up for those feelings of inadequacies. You've got this Momma!
Jeanne McDermott
11/5/2018 07:56:10 am
You will be so much happier after you have this done. I had my total laparoscopic hysterectomy 14 years ago due to extreme bleeding & endometriosis. Unfortunately my lovely doctor or one of the wanna be doctors cut my ureter in half and that damn near killed me as urine leaked into my system for 2 weeks. If you are doing a laparoscopic, please insist they put stents in to avoid any oops. Good luck & hope for a speedy recovery!
Stacy
11/5/2018 08:55:37 am
It’s difficult to say goodbye to that part of your life yet everyday you’re creating and shaping those beautiful little minds,some of which will carry on your family in the future. I admire you. I don’t have children, let alone the amazing crew you’re the matriarch of caretaking for daily. I was 40 and my fibroid tumor had grown over a decade from a plum, into a bowl with large pieces of fruit added like a cantaloupe, grapes, and Oh! A monkey sitting on top peeling his 25th banana and wanting the hell OUT! I bled led a faucet and hurt like a mofo, back hurting and body going out of whack monthly for way too long to mention! 😳 When they told me they had to cut through my intercostal mucscles c that thing was 5.5 pounds and the size of my own birth it was unnerving, and time. Yes, please listen and don’t bend or lift anything heavier than your toothbrush if that’s the advice. Your body and the healing, the stitches and a new scar will thank you later. Ps. Do NOt let your good friend kidnap you on day 3 to watch Jackass 2 as I almost had staples flying around the room from laughter and to this day have a wider scar, yet so worth the effort put in to get me to a new atmosphere for a few hours as you have air trapped in your body, which causes God awful rumbling that is the ghost of that Monkey kicking the sh*t out of your stomach for ending his lifetime banana supply that grew and the home he got used to living in. Yes, the hospital explained I needed to pass gas. I lived in a fema trailer at the time while finishing massage school and the propane tank at the other end of where I spent most of my time taunted me with the idea of blowing up the block with one good fart. 😬 I opted for two das extra of pain meds and must have happily let one go in my sleep, single handedly saving the the somewhat returning neighborhood and continued rebuilding. So you will be a super hero yourself yet again once you find out how your surgery came to be a blessing. Best of luck to you! You’re posts and honesty are an inspiration, all jokes aside. This surgery was tough and I did not only not have children, I wasn’t one to think I’d be birthing any. When the choice is no longer a choice, it still gets to you and closes that chapter, yet only that way as I’ve come to realize. Best wishes for a speedy and healthy recovery. Enjoy the pampering and give yourself the space to look at your life and feel all your rock star moments experienced and ahead. XxOo!!
Debra B Cobb
11/5/2018 11:10:44 pm
I had a total hysterectomy and had a bladder sling inserted 14+ years ago. It was the best birthday present I ever got and my quality of life increased soooooooo much. I pray you have a great surgery and an easy recovery. You can do this! Leave a Reply. |
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